Интересно Человек Юмор

12 историй о том, как воспитывают детей по-настоящему крутые родители


Некоторые родители используют в качестве воспитательных инструментов юмор, находчивость, воображение и капельку хитрости. И нам хочется брать с них пример.
Мы собрали несколько историй, которые и делают детство таким незабываемым.

Когда мы с родителями ездили в деревню, каждое утро папа подкладывал к курицам киндер-сюрприз, а я была уверена, что чудо-курочки сносят его специально для меня.

В детстве мы с родителями поехали в Испанию, и я так подружился с соседской кошкой, что хотел забрать ее домой. Моя мама ответила «нет», а когда я заплакал, отец подошел ко мне и сказал: «Да, было бы неплохо забрать ее, но эта кошка говорит по-испански, а наши кошки — по-английски. Она не сможет с ними дружить, и ей будет одиноко». Мне такое объяснение показалось логичным.

Мне было 5 лет, и мой папа убедил меня в том, что он секретный агент. Он сказал, что у него есть своя лаборатория, а однажды взял меня на специальное задание, где мы должны были обезвредить «бомбу» (коробка с несколькими светодиодами и проводами). Он попросил меня перерезать один из двух проводов, но если выбрать неправильно, то будет взрыв. Я не мог взять на себя такую ответственность в 5, поэтому предоставил это ему. Он также сказал, что в нашем доме есть тайная дверь в его лабораторию. Я был убежден, что это шкаф, и провел перед ним много часов, пытаясь подобрать голосовой пароль. Я помню это много лет.

В детстве отец сказал мне, что киви — это на самом деле обезьяньи яйца. Если подождать, из них вылупятся маленькие обезьянки. Я держал их у себя под кроватью, пока они не сгнили.

Свою 3-летнюю дочь к операции по удалению миндалин мы готовили с неделю. Купили одноразовые накидки, бахилы, маски. Надевали, ходили, лечили медведей и кукол. Примеряли респиратор — понравилось. Итог — ребенок сам, за руку с медсестрой, пошел в операционную, лег, сказал тащить маску и делать операцию. Бригада ржала, ребенок тоже. Никаких криков и последствий для психики. Что-то такое может придумать каждый, а врачи вам только спасибо скажут, да и дети, когда вырастут.

Мама должна была уехать, а моя 5-летняя сестренка ее не отпускала и плакала. И тогда папа говорит: «А давай устроим праздник непослушания и будем делать все, что мама запрещает — на обоях рисовать и ее косметикой краситься?». У нее глаза загорелись, от мамы сразу отцепилась. Мы на двусторонний скотч наклеили на стену кусок обоев, которые от ремонта остались («вот мама придет, и мы ее напугаем, что на самом деле на обоях рисовали»), и раскрасили — и стену, и мордаху ей помадой и тенями. Ребенок был счастлив.

Когда я был маленьким, мама говорила мне, что когда я лгу, у меня на лбу появляется красная точка (которую видят только мамы). Поэтому я прикрывал лоб рукой, когда собирался соврать ей. Отлично придумано, мам.

Проходила мимо дома и увидела малышку, которая хотела нарисовать зайчика на стене. Мама ей говорит: «На стенах рисовать нельзя». «А почему?» «Потому что это 214-я статья Уголовного кодекса».

Попросила мужа поиграть с ребенком, пока я суп сварю. Через некоторое время слышу: «Первый, я второй. Смена караула!». И так бесконечно долго, перемежаясь с чеканными шагами. Потом ноющим голосом: «Па-ап, я уста-ал, можно я посижу?». Вхожу, муж мирно спит на диване, а Валентин (3 года) в полном обмундировании (плащ, шлем, ружье, меч) марширует от одного края дивана к другому и рапортует сам себе. Спрашиваю: «Ты что делаешь?». Отвечает: «Мы с папой в „короля дивана“ играем!».

Я стоматолог. Некоторые родители восхищают своей изобретательностью. Одни, перед тем как ввести ребенка, заходят ко мне и оставляют игрушку или вкусняшку, которую я потом «дарю» малышу за хорошее поведение. Есть семья с двумя мальчиками, которые играют в супергероев, а поход к врачу у них специальное супергеройское испытание. И детям они рассказывают, что здесь врачи лечат только супергероев. Ведь если герой болеет, как он может хорошо исполнять свои обязанности по спасению мира? С таким подходом работать становится намного приятнее и легче.

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