Жизнено Интересно Мудрость

«Мои родители постарели…» о том, как важно принимать жизнь и любить то, что даётся тебе лишь раз


Мои родители постарели. Они и были не особо молодыми, когда я родился. Сейчас мне 27, моей маме 63, а папе 71. И вот пошёл третий год, как я воспринимаю своих родителей стариками.

Дело не в том, что они ушли на пенсию… Мой папа всё ещё работает и успешно звонит мне по скайпу. Моя мама ведёт «инстаграм», скидывает злостные шуточки в сообщениях, и с особым уважением относится к создателям торрента. Дело в том, что они превратились в моих бабушку и дедушку.

Я люблю их, как и всегда, иду за советом, когда упираюсь в тупик и чувствую поддержку в моменты слабости, но теперь — главный я. Теперь в моих руках меч, стрелы и щит. Теперь я задаю движение.

Я не знаю, что именно разделило нас на до и после. То ли здоровье, которого почти не осталось, слабая поступь и тяжёлое дыхание. Я вижу, как мама теряет память. Как папа замедлился и больше не способен на глобальные решения. Не знаю, кого оно там лечит, но время точно никого не щадит.

Я стал делать скидку, и, возможно, им неприятно это читать, но мои родители действительно постарели. Уменьшились в росте, усугубились в характере и превратились в слабаков. Они по-прежнему любят меня, готовы обнажить протезные клыки и сделать последний рывок, лишь бы я был счастлив.

Времени слишком мало. Я стал чувствовать каждый год. Любые три дня, что мне удаётся провести с родителями, стали праздником. Я обнимаю и целую их каждый раз, словно на прощание. Хорошо, папа! Как скажешь, мама! Я уступил им всё. Простил им всё. Только живите.

Мой папа больше не китайская стена, моя мама перестала быть Лао-цзы. Я боюсь оступиться, и это правда. Мне часто не хватает их решений, и это правда. Мне кажется, что будь они немного помоложе, я был бы куда свободнее, — и это правда.

Иногда я хочу позвонить им, сказать, что болен и устал, что весь мир сегодня против меня и мне так хочется забиться в угол, но они больше не знают, как меня защитить. Теперь они мои дети.

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